Attachment is really a buzzkill, honestly. Imagine: just because I talked to this person for a while and they are really close to me, it’s very likely that I’ll feel attached to them—not because I want to, but because that’s how my body responds, especially as an introvert (like me). Sometimes, I can have a chat with someone and, to me, they seem to be nice or like people I’d want to talk to, so naturally I find myself attached. And most of the time, they aren’t even willing to continue that relationship, or they agree to keep talking afterward, but it reaches a point where they give up on keeping the relationship mutual, and it seems like you’re the one carrying the burden of trying to initiate conversations.

To make matters worse, you really don’t want to leave that relationship because it’s the only thing you have, the only thing you can “hold on to.” So you continue suffering; you continue enduring that pain because you believe they are still meant for you and that soon they’ll realize it. Time flies, and you come to notice that you’ve wasted so much of yourself because you thought things would work out.

Possibly you are like me, or this has happened to you. All I want to tell you is, firstly, what you are experiencing is totally normal—don’t beat yourself up about it like I did. Secondly, you can “fix” it or resolve this issue, but from my experience, I’m not sure if that feeling ends completely (I mean, I’m only sixteen).

So here is what you can do. Though it may sound cliché and all, trust me—this is what worked for me. First, I journaled (I’ll dive deeper into this later). Second, I changed my mentality—the words I told myself.

Okay, so I journaled, and you may be asking, “Okay, Manuel, how did journaling help you? I mean, it’s just writing your thoughts on a piece of paper. It doesn’t really have any great impact, does it?” You see, the more you have thoughts that don’t give you peace—thoughts that make you lose hope or feel lost—and you keep them in your mind, the more you’ll find yourself overthinking and feeling lost. So journaling takes these emotions out of your mind, because remember, emotions don’t know whether they’ve been written on paper or not. So journaling saves your brain that stress.

Now, what I did next was change how I spoke to myself. Before, I used to tell myself, “You’re boring,” “You need friends so that you don’t get bored.” And honestly, you might think, “But Manuel, they’re just words—nothing much.” But words have such a great impact on who you are. Take this analogy of fresh water and salty water: watering a plant with fresh water is more advantageous than watering it with salty water. In this case, fresh water is positive, motivating words, while salty water is negative and derailing words. If you were to take salty water and water a plant, that plant would eventually die. Why? It’s not ideal for its growth. And if it were fresh water, it would be the other way around—the plant would actually grow.

So in the same way, words are equally important, and they either make you grow or wither. So every day in the morning, I write positive words in my journal or say positive words to myself. At first, it’s going to be really hard, and you’ll feel resistance, but it’s worth a shot. Right now, for me, I find it really easy to be positive and kind, although a few months ago it was the opposite.

In the end, these two processes helped me love myself and accept myself for who I am (though I still feel some resistance). But it’s not that you won’t feel bad or lonely—you will. The only thing that matters is how you handle it. Don’t give up; you’re going to make it, okay? Have a good one ahead… Byeeee, and make sure you keep on blooming 😁