On a daily basis, I’m glued to my phone, waiting anxiously for someone to message me. Waiting for someone to finally ask, “How are you? Is everything okay?” But no one does—not even a simple “Hello.” Nothing.

And even after convincing myself that social media isn’t worth it, or that I shouldn’t be on my phone most of the time, I still find myself there—doom-scrolling, wasting so much precious time. Until recently, I didn’t really have a solid idea of what the problem was.

I tried YouTube videos. “Do this.” “Do that.” they say. But no one truly puts themselves in your situation. Download this app. Delete these apps. Leave your phone in another drawer. Yeah, it works—but only temporarily. Before you know it, you fall right back into the cycle.

At some point, my only solution was gaming. But that was just a distraction from a distraction. It wasn’t really helping me.

But today, I think I finally got a clue.

Let’s go back to the early 1900s. There’s a guy named Marcus. Marcus had a rough childhood—he was never recognized for anything positive he did, only criticized for the things he did wrong. Over time, he developed avoidant attachment and struggled to cope with his emotions.

Now, Marcus really loves this lady named Jemimah. But Jemimah doesn’t feel the same way, so she says no. And Jemimah is a strong, independent woman—once she says no, that’s it. No going back.

So what does Marcus do? Take a guess. (Remember, it’s the 1900s.)

He goes to a bar.

He puts some vodka on his tab and drinks the night away, listening to sad jazz. That was the only way he knew how to cope with rejection. It was his coping mechanism.

I hope you’re starting to see where I’m going with this.

The same way people used to go to bars to drink their problems away hasn’t disappeared—it has only evolved. People still drink, smoke weed, vape, and do all sorts of things to escape. And that phone? There’s a high possibility it’s your coping mechanism. It’s your way of escaping the world.

The good thing is, compared to other coping mechanisms like drinking, it’s easier to stop. But prolonged exposure can still be very damaging.

Right now, I wear glasses. You know why?

As a child, I never really felt attention or love. So after getting yelled at or scolded for something, I would retreat to my laptop—playing Roblox or watching Sis vs Bro—as a way to cope with sadness and not knowing how else to handle my emotions.

That’s why I wear glasses today.

I stopped going out. I focused more on my laptop. I lost most of my social skills and slowly became an indoor person.

So what’s your point, Manuel, you might be asking.

My point is this: it’s not really your fault. You may have been through something similar to what I went through, and that’s the root cause of why you’re so attached to your gadgets. That’s why you feel bad when someone doesn’t talk to you for a while—even when they’re busy. That’s why when someone ends a relationship with you, it feels like the world is about to end, and you start hating yourself.

Now that you understand the why behind your addiction, let’s talk about how to solve it.

First of all, you need to reach a point where you accept yourself for who you are. This is the hardest part. It means sitting with yourself and journaling those old thoughts out of your system.

There was a time—in 2024 and part of 2025—when I was deeply attached to a specific girl. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I was so attached that my mood revolved around her. It got to a point where I couldn’t do anything else but think about her. And the truth is, she didn’t want me the way I wanted her.

So I sought therapy. And journaling is what truly worked for me.

Eventually, getting a text from her became boring. Even today, it doesn’t affect me. I can literally ignore her messages. I don’t need to talk to her daily anymore—because I learned to find love within myself and realized she wasn’t the one.

You can do it too. Just write your heart out. Every emotion—big or small.

Start talking kindly to yourself. Say good things about yourself. Thank yourself for even the smallest achievements you make.

Also, what’s your dream? Believe in that dream. Trust me, the motivation it gives you is crazy—though it won’t always be at 100%.

Find a hobby. Draw (like me—though I stopped), sing, play the guitar, swim. The key is to keep yourself busy. Because for me, this distraction only shows up when I have too much free time and nothing to do.

Lastly, normalize accepting disappointment from people. It will save you so much time and emotional energy. Let go of the past. Don’t beat yourself up over things that happened ages ago. It happened—take it as a lesson, not a mistake.

Remember, it’s all mental. Once you shift things upstairs, everything starts to fall into place.

Adiós, gente.